How hard is it to ignore the harsh words that someone spews to hurt you?
It feels almost impossible. But so is trying to combat someone’s harsh words about you while firing back with something positive.
In my career, I have had the absolute pleasure of working with people from various backgrounds and beliefs. I’ve worked with atheists, non-believers, and individuals from various religious traditions. I have worked with people from my home state of Georgia, people from far up the East Coast, and people from as far out as the West Coast. I’ve worked with individuals who share my beliefs and values and others whose views are polar opposites.
One thing I have learned through each of these experiences is that they help you grow as a person. I’ve learned a lesson from each one and have become more understanding and more appreciative of their uniqueness. Sometimes, though, those lessons are hard—especially when they involve someone spreading lies about you.
I am the type of person who can ignore criticism about my fashion, my style, and my image all day long. But when you attack my character—my integrity—I draw a fine line.
Several years ago, a co-worker shared some very untruthful things about me in a meeting. It took only two short hours before the story got back to me, and the criticism of my peers started setting in. In a moment like that, you want to immediately defend your name, right the wrong, and stand up for yourself. And while I informally did those things, I never fully confronted them. I let that hurt build into a constant frustration, and a passive-aggressive character I didn’t want to wear emerged. I never stood up for myself.
The rest of that year, I was in survival mode, and I hated the way that made me feel. It wasn’t until that summer that I finally decided holding onto that hurt—the story someone else had written about me—was only hurting me. So, I let it go. I knew the truth, God knew the truth, and His view of me was the only one I needed to worry about. I trusted that God could right the wrong.
A year later, that same former co-worker experienced a life-changing event. My heart was pounding when I felt God press in and tell me to contact them. When I called, I spoke nothing but encouraging words, and I could hear the peace in their voice. I never spoke to them about the hurt they caused me. I never confronted the frustrating words. But I was the one cheering them on when they needed affirmation. I know they will never forget that, and I will never forget just how perfect God’s timing was in that moment.
I pray as you tackle this Monday, you remember that people will never forget how you make them feel. The words you speak should always be an encouragement for others to hear. You can never take back words once they leave your mouth, so let them be something worth remembering.
